


I really don’t buy that you’re that kind of guy (bad little boy)

by heart_eyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon based lingo, Cat Harry, Enemies to Lovers, Jealous Zayn, M/M, Nick Grimshaw makes an appearance as peppermint butler, Vampire Zayn, adventure time crossover fic, the payzer is basically mentioned, very late ziall valentine's fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3386702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heart_eyes/pseuds/heart_eyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you—wait are you going to ask Gumball to be your Valentine?” Niall refused to answer instead he crossed his arms over his chest, lips pursed with anger.</p><p>Zayn’s eyes widened. “You are! Oh god this is rich! Little Nialler the human’s got a bloody crush.”</p><p>“I do not.”</p><p>“Yeah? Then why’re you blushing?”</p><p>“I’m Irish what’s yer excuse for being a knob?”</p><p>or Valentine's day in the <a href="http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Land_of_Ooo">Land of Ooo</a> (a One Direction/Adventure Time crossover)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I really don’t buy that you’re that kind of guy (bad little boy)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [petals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/petals/gifts).



> I love 1D, i love [Adventure Time](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_Time) so i thought why not combine the two? Inspired by this sick [fanart](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mduhcaYo8E1rnfw8mo1_500.jpg) i found on tumblr i thought up this little diddy :) and yes i know i could've easily gone ziam with this, that's what the picture even sort of implies but i thought naw Ziall is my otp so ziall it shall be.
> 
> for anyone not familiar with adventure time or that universe i tried my best to like add picture links and stuff to maybe help paint a picture for ya but um if you're still lost or confused by the slang/lingo then that's my bad and i'm sorry.
> 
> I also took a few liberties for my own sanity while writing this baby making Niall/Finn 17 and Liam/Gumball only 19 because I’m not comfortable with the 13/18 age gap of the actual show and then Zayn/Marshall Lee is like technically 1,003 yrs old but looks 18 sooo we’re gonna go with 18 for obvious reasons lol.
> 
> Lastly the biggest thank you ever to my friend and beta [lexxel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lexxel) I'd never get anything done were it not for you and your awesome encouragement & unfailing help.

Niall sat at the bar with Hazza at his side, head bowed down into the last bit of his pint, staring forlornly into the bottom of the glass as he thought not for the first time about his unrequited crush on Gumball the good prince of the [Candy Kingdom](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Candy_Kingdom).

“Liam, his name is Liam.” He muttered, reminding himself that they were mates now and as mates he was expected to call the prince by his first name.

“Cheer up Nialler; it’s not the end of the world.” Harry said between licks as he bathed himself right there at the bar, his tail swishing back and forth behind him. Niall snorted down into his pint, rolling sad blue eyes at his best friend and partner in crime—fighting. But the pussycat just continued on unfazed.

“No seriously I know it sucks we save the Candy Kingdom from the tree trolls _again_ and nearly lose a limb, but at least you got a kiss out of it this time.” Niall snorted again.

“Yeah a _Hershey_ kiss, I felt like an idiot standing there with my eyes closed and mouth puckered up waiting to receive a kiss only to have this bloody thing dropped into the palm of me hand.” He spat, glaring down at the silver foil shaped teardrop candy that sat on the bar top just to the left of the coaster that he refused to use.

“Least it wasn’t a thimble or summat yeah? Like in that one story about the green fella in the tights?” Bressie the bartender commented from the other side of the bar where he was currently polishing a glass.

Niall’s brow furrowed further while Harry’s face lit up.

“You mean Peter Pan? That’s Gentle Lounicorn’s favorite story!!!” The kitten gushed, and Niall didn’t even have to look over at his mate to know his face had gone all soft and mushy because it always did when he talked about the love of his life Gentle Lou of the [Rainicorns](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Rainicorns).

Tipping the last of his pint up and into his mouth he swallowed quickly, fighting a wince as his head began to throb and slammed it back down on the bar top, gesturing at it as he met eyes with Bressie.

“Give me a’nudder.” He gruffed out, rubbing at his blonde hair through his ever present white hat.

“Think you’ve had enough tonight mate, why don’t you head home, walk it off?” Bressie tried to reason, shooting Harry a quick glance hoping for his support but the kitten just raised his paws in a universal _don’t look at_ _m_ e gesture and resumed smoothing out the curls behind his ears.

Niall slammed both hands down on the counter.

“I said give me a’nudder Bress I ain’t driving.” Bressie stared down at him for a few beats but the blonde just met his gaze steady as ever until the older man finally sighed and nodded.

“You’re gonna regret it in the morning mate but a’right what’ll it be this round?”

“Hit me with that sweet rocky road yeah? Feel like I need something to crush between me teeth.”

“You got it chief.”The bartender said and within seconds he was sliding a pint of rocky road ice cream in front of the boy. Niall raised his spoon in thanks before digging in, feeling Hazza’s huge worried green eyes boring into the side of his face as he did.

“Last one mate, promise.” He muttered around a spoonful.

**~~~**

Harry struggled to carry his inebriated mate, with an arm slung across his shoulders and a heavy little blonde all but plastered to his side. Bressie had offered to lend him a hand but Harry had waved him off knowing that if he accepted Bressie’s help the bartender would be leaving his bar and till vulnerable, so he’d quickly assured him that reinforcement was on its way and started for the door, but now he was really beginning to regret his generosity until he heard the telltale whoosh of air and felt the familiar warmth on his whiskers that radiated from Lou’s vibrant colored stripes.

“Lou! You made it.” Harry cried out as he looked up to meet the twinkling blue eye of his Rainicorn lover.

“Yeah yeah what’s this then?” Louis asked, flipping his mane and nodding to their sluggish mate, Harry couldn’t help but pout.

“It’s Nialler…he’s a bit upset.” He informed, reaching up to pet Niall through his hat.

“And what, he tried to eat himself into an ice cream coma?”  Louis quipped with a smirk that told that he already knew the answer.

“Sort of? We saved the candy kingdom from the tree trolls this afternoon and Liam well he…”

“Ah, so this is Gumball’s handiwork then, figures. Forget to thank him with a token of his gratitude did he?” Harry drew back looking genuinely affronted for his friend.

“No, Liam would never!”

“So he finally snogged the lights out of our fair Nialler?” He chuckled, flicking his glorious tail “and this is how he copes?” He continued, narrowing his eyes.

Harry had the decency to look a bit sheepish as he worried his bottom lip.

“Snog is not exactly the word I would use, more like kiss.” Louis' eyes widen comically.

“He kissed Niall? I was only taking the piss but he actually _kissed_ him?”

“Mmhm…literally.” Harry said, rearranging the boy in his arms so that he was leant entirely on Harry’s right and dug into the boy’s little green backpack for the teardrop candy with his free hand and held it out for Lounicorn’s inspection.

The Rainicorn took one look at the candy and promptly fell onto his back, hovering just above them and literally rolling in the air with laughter. Harry who would usually bask in the sight of his lover’s glee, admiring how big his smile gets and listening to his wind chime laugh, but right now he felt a bit offended on his best mate’s behalf.

“Lou, seriously can we focus here and for heaven’s sake do be mindful of poor Niall’s feelings!” At this Louis composes himself, clearing his throat as he meets the sad blue eyes of the blonde.

“Tough break there Nialler.” Niall snorted in response then let out a long anguished groan as his belly suddenly rolled and he lurched forward slightly in warning that he was going to be sick.

Louis skittered back a few feet which Harry glared up at before reaching over to rub his friend’s belly soothingly.

“There there babe, Lounicorn’s gonna have us home in a jiff and we can get you into bed and in the morning I’ll make us all omelets with everything but the kitchen sink in ‘em just how you like.” That produces a sound that was both hopeful and miserable all at the same time out of the blonde.

Louis muttered something under his breath about Harry paying his dry cleaning bill if Niall gets any airsickness but reluctantly lowered himself enough for Harry to situate Niall on his back before climbing up behind him.

**~~~**

The next morning Niall wakes up feeling like he’s been hit by a bus, his stomach still hasn’t settled, his head is killing him and worst of all someone forgot to draw the blinds last night so the sun is streaming directly into his eyes.

“Haaaaaz!” He croaks, throwing his arm over his eyes in a pitiful attempt to block it out. He opens his mouth to cry out again even though doing so will only exacerbate his oncoming migraine but the telltale purr he hears in the doorway makes him peek one eye open, relaxing slightly at the sight of his friend.

“Morning babe, ready for your omelet?” Harry asks and it’s then Niall notices the still steaming plate he held. His tummy does a somersault of protest and he squeezes both his eyes closed once more.

“Noooo, fuck I can’t even look at food right now me stomach’s still in knots and for some reason my head hurts something mean…did I by any chance get to drinking last night?”

“Nope worse, you went on a bit of an ice cream binge, and now I imagine you’re coming down from quite the sugar rush.”

“Sugar rush?”

“Mmhm, Lounicorn had to chase you off of the roof when you tried reenacting how we defeated the tree trolls.”

“Oh god, it’s all slowly coming back to me, speaking of the Gentle menace where is Lou? Did he stay over?” Harry’s furry pout was answer enough but he still shook his head sadly.

“Negative.”

“Oh? Why not I’ve told you a thousand times I don’t mind if you act all lovey-dovey around me.”

“And we appreciate it, really Niall but Lou doesn’t stay over here because I sleep in your underwear drawer remember? I don’t have an actual bed that would fit the two of us.” Niall couldn’t help but flush, feeling like a knob for forgetting the fact.

“Right…well why don’t you just move into his place then?”

“What and leave you to fend on your own? No can do, you wouldn’t last a week.”

Niall glared, petulantly crossing his arms over his chest for good measure. It was of course then that he became aware of his dire need to pee, the problem was that at some point during the night before, he’d shed all his clothes before passing out and with Harry still standing there in the doorway looking mostly amused and not at all offended like Niall had hoped he would, there was no way he could make it to the loo without Harry getting a peek at his twig and berries.

“I need to wee.”He blurts hoping his mate would get the hint.

“Thanks for sharing?” Harry said slowly but made no moves to leave the room.

Niall growled.

“And I’m sort of naked.”

“Oh really?” The kitty leered, moving further into the room instead of leaving it.

“What the lump Haz! Get out of here you perv!”

“Oh alright.” The pussy sulked, looking genuinely disappointed “but what about this omelet? You sure you’re not hungry?” He asked, waving said omelet around, the movement sending a waft of delicious melted cheese and grilled meat and veggies aroma straight to Niall’s nostrils and this time when his tummy gurgled it was out of desire not protest.

“Well…I suppose I could try a bite or two since you’ve already gone to the trouble and all.” Harry raised an infuriatingly smug eyebrow as though this were the outcome he foresaw all along, and finally with a flick of his tail he was gone.

**~~~**

Niall figures if he stuffs his mouth with enough food than there’s less of a chance that Harry will bring up last night or more importantly the reason last night even happened, besides as Niall’s dearest and oldest mate Harry ought to know by now that he wasn’t a talker, he was more the repressing type, the bury-everything-down-deep-and-take-his-emotions-out-on-the-first-evil-doer-he-finds-by-beating-the-crap-out-of-them type. That was _his_ idea of therapy.

But of course Harry never did learn how to read common social cues and climbed up into the chair across from where Niall sat at their tiny little makeshift breakfast nook with a mug of warm milk with just a dash of honey just how he liked it and stared Niall down for a few beats before grinning a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame.

“Sooo about last night.” He starts, gripping his warm mug in both paws, feet swinging joyfully as he leaned forward. Niall nearly threw his fork down in frustration but resisted in favor of shoving another bite into his mouth and talking as he chewed.

“Dear glob can we not and say we did, I’d really rather eat my omelet—which is superb by the way you’ve really outdone yerself, in peace?” Harry’s little nose wrinkled in disgust as he watched a stray bit of egg fly out of the blonde’s mouth and land on the table but Niall just smiled triumphantly because it served him right for trying to meddle.

Harry managed to recover his smile despite his revulsion.

“Really? Thanks babe I tried grilling the veggies with the meats this time so that the vegetables would soak in some of the meat juice and make the whole thing much more flavorful…of course that means it’s also a lot less healthy but since when did you ever care about being healthy and nice try but the subject has _not_ been changed mister.”

“What about last night? Can’t a bloke go out for ice cream without getting the third degree?” Harry took a cautious sip before nodding.

“Sure, but not when you literally eat to the point of intoxication, could barely stand on yer own to wait for our ride.”

“Oh no…did you call a taxi? From Bressie’s? That had to be pricey; you’ll let me pay you back my half yeah?” The kitten tittered, waving him off.

“Pfft don’t be silly as if I’d ever make you pay me back…besides I didn’t call a cab, Gentle Lou came and got us.”

“Fuck me, dunno which would’ve been worse, he’s never gonna lemme live it down is he?”

“Not in this lifetime no.” Harry answered honestly, shooting the blonde a sympathetic look.

Niall groaned and wished not for the first time that things had worked out between Harry and Gumball’s best mate and personal assistant [Peppernick Butler](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Peppermint_Butler). He was a bit of a know-it-all, wise arse that everyone suspected dabbled in the dark arts in his spare time but he didn’t make it his personal goal to drive Niall up the bloody wall from now until forever like Lou had and could take a joke instead of declaring a full on war in retribution.

“Just great.”

“Hey, in Lou’s defense you brought this on yourself, instead of talking it out with me you went and gorged yourself on four of Bressie’s twenty-eight flavors!”

“Four you say, damn didn’t even beat my own record of five and half pints! Please tell me I didn’t have the key lime pie flavor…that one always gives me the belchies.”

“Seriously Niall, can we lumping focus here?”

“Right right what were we talking about again?” Harry rolled his eyes.

“Prince Gumball and your hopeless crush on him.”

“Wow, harsh man…I’m still all jacked up from yesterday and you’re just gonna yank on my heart guts like that?”

“Sorry babe, but I figure it’s best to just cut to the chase like ripping off a plaster yeah?”

Niall promptly shoved the last bit of egg into his mouth and turned his head stubbornly, choosing to stare out the window while he chewed instead, then quickly whipped it back again looking scandalized when he caught sight of two birds doing the nasty on a nearby branch.

He was met by Harry’s expectant face, calmly sipping at his milk as he raised a single eyebrow and Niall’s upper lip curled in annoyance as he made a show of swallowing, downing the last of his oj like a shot of liquid courage and slammed the cup back on the table before meeting those green eyes head on.

“Alright let’s have it then.” Harry took in a lungful of air then let it out in one big gush, his next words rushing out with it.

“As a close friend of Gumball’s I would just like to remind you how oblivious and single-minded he can get, always focused on his newest invention trying to give his subjects a better quality of life.”

“So what you’re saying is he’s slow?” Niall asked, scratching his head.

“Basically, he doesn’t really make time for his personal life and I can’t even tell you the last time that boys been on an actual date he wasn’t tricked into, so it’s not really your fault that he doesn’t seem interested he probably hasn’t picked up on any of your subtle as fuck hints…you have to go bold or go home with him.”

“So you think I have a chance then?” Harry threw his paws up.

“I don’t know, but I do think if you’re serious about him  it’s going to take a grander gesture then saving the kingdom from the tree trolls—you do things like that all the time for several people, saving the day is sort of our _thing_. But if you want him to look at you as a potential luvah then you’re going to have to romance him.”

“Um, ok first of all never says lover like that ever again and secondly I don’t actually know how to do that? Beating the buns off bad guys is my thang, gettin’ my mack on not so much bruh.”

“Well you’re in luck because tomorrow just so happens to be the day invented for such things.”

“International Pancake Day?” Niall asked hopefully, already licking his lips despite having just finished a hearty omelet.

“No you numpty it’s Valentine’s day!” The blonde’s entire body deflates.

“Oh right, right of course I knew that...um sooo?”

“So, you ask him to be your Valentine silly.” Harry sing-songed, clapping his paws together happily. Niall tried his best to match his excitement but the truth was he didn’t know the first thing about romance or wooing someone. He spent all his time going on adventures, fighting bad guys and beating Harry at Fifa none of which were going to help him get Liam to be his boyfriend.

“Right, right of course and how am I supposed to do that, god I’m awful at this.” Niall watched the kitten bring a paw up to tap at his chin, his face scrunched up adorably in thought.

“Hmm, well last year Gentle Lou flew me up past the clouds and let me pick out a star and then name it…it’s called Frosting in case you were wondering and it is our love child until we’re ready to have one of our own.”

“Um ok, that’s great, what other things has Gentle Lou done?”

“Well he took me dancing once, another time he tried to cook me dinner and nearly burned his flat down, oh on our first Valentine’s day ever we went on a moonlight boat outing and just talked all night about our feelings while he rowed us around was proper romantic.”

Niall groaned up at the ceiling.”Ugh will I have to do all that? Talking about my feelings all that mushy donk? Can’t I just slay a dragon and bring him its head?” Harry made a thoughtful noise.

“You couuuld do that sure, but you’d basically be booking yourself a one way ticket to the friend zone mate.”

“Frick! This romance lump is hard.” Niall whined, dropping his head onto the table in defeat.

“I know babe, maybe you can take baby steps though? Gentle Lou and I have been together for ages so he’s rather practiced in the art of wooing...just get Liam some chocolates or you could write him a poem? You can be quite the wordsmith when you want to be.” He reached a hand across the table, to pet Niall’s arm, letting out a soothing purr that never failed to calm the blonde.

This time however, Niall’s head shot up and he was grinning over at his mate like he’d just told him tomorrow really _was_ International Pancake Day and he’d just been taking the piss earlier.

“That’s perfect! Haz you bloody genius I could kiss you!”

“Well you can, I definitely won’t fight ya” Harry preened, proud that he was able to help his best mate in his time of need “would rather you pet me though, you know really scratch me good behind the ears, I’d _love_ that!”

Niall rolled his eyes but moved around to Harry’s side of the table and reached up to card his fingers through Harry’s silky brown fur causing the kitten to immediately let out a rumbling purr. He then let his hand move over to Harry’s right ear and scratched back there for a while until Harry’s eyes had fallen closed and his left leg began to twitch in absolute pleasure.

**~~~**

Niall stood just outside the Candy Kingdom’s gates with Harry and Gentle Lounicorn there to see him off and offer some last minute support so that he didn’t chicken out and hightail it back to the [Tree fort](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Tree_Fort).

To say he was nervous was an understatement, his palms were sweaty and he felt like he was suffocating in his button up collar. He’d opted out of wearing his usual blue shirt and matching shorts under Harry’s advisement that if he wanted Gumball to see him in a new light, he had to actually _look_ the part, couldn’t show up in his usual threads. So they dug around in his sparse closet for something a bit dressier and found a red button down shirt and a pair of cream skinny jeans. They weren’t as comfortable as his usual outfit but Harry had assured him he looked good and even Lou had begrudgingly agreed.

“And it’s red which is just perfect for the occasion.” Harry said, smoothing out Niall’s shoulders for no other reason than to do it, picking off some imaginary fuzz along the way.

“Glob Haz, stop fussing over him and let him do his thing, we’ve got reservations at that one place you like that hands out free bags of catnip mints on your way out.”

“Oh alright, it’s just our baby’s growing up.” Harry sniffled out, his voice sounding a bit choked up as he held the blonde out at arm’s length to give him one last once over.

“Lump off Haz!”

“Ok ok.” Harry relented, quickly wiping at the corners of his eyes “you’ve got the chocolates?”

Niall rolled his eyes. “Check.”

“And the poem?”

“Yep.”

“Wait poem? Niall wrote a poem? Lemme see that.” Lou asked snatching the piece of paper Niall waved proudly before the blonde had a chance to stuff it back into his pocket.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Not even all of candy kingdom_

_Is as sweet as you_

Lou waited a few beats before busting up and it was his turn to wipe tears out of the corners of his eyes out of laughter. Niall’s fists clenched at his sides as he scowled up at the Rainicorn.

“Gimme that back ya dingus!”

“Don’t tease him babe, I think its sweet and that’s all that matters.” Lou nodded still laughing like he didn’t agree at all but didn’t want to ruin their special day by getting into a fight.

“Mmhm you keep on telling yourself that sweet'ums, anyway good luck Niall, go get ‘em tiger.” He giggled, tossing the poem at him.

“You’re such an arsehole.”

“Hmm maybe so but I’m his arsehole so that means you have to love me.” Lou said rather smugly, wrapping himself around Harry’s shoulders much like a shawl, and grinning as Harry immediately snuggled into him out of habit.

Niall growled, but knew when he was beat and conceded because it was true he loved Harry and Lou was his forever love so Niall sort of had to love the Rainicorn by default, besides he wasn’t all bad, they had their rare moments where they actually got along and even dare he say bonded, like when he kicks Lou’s arse at Fifa on [BMO](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/BMO).

Taking in a deep gulp of air, Niall squared his shoulders and finally approached the gates, sparing a final glance over his shoulder at his mates and shook his head in shame when he saw actual tears in Harry’s eyes as he waved him on encouragingly, Lou was nuzzling his nose into the kitten’s temple whispering words that Niall couldn’t hear from where he stood but they seemed to be having the desired effect on Harry because he finally turned his head to rub noses with his boyfriend in an Eskimo kiss, Niall all but forgotten as the pair got lost in their own little world.

Letting the breath out in a huge gush, Niall pulled the tall gates open just enough for him to slip through before  pulling them closed again once he was on the inside, he continued forward towards the castle, not looking back once.

**~~~**

He’s made quite a bit of progress, the castle now in sight when he feels a sudden chill crawl up his back, making the little hairs at the back of his neck stand up in alert and he’s suddenly assaulted with the all too familiar combination of spicy cologne and cigarette smoke.

Rolling his eyes he whirls around to find none other than Zayn Malik the demon prince himself hovering just above Niall’s head dressed in his usual leather jacket, ripped skinny jeans and chucks with the laces undone a detail that has _always_  irked the crap out of him. He also wore a white t-shirt underneath that read ‘cool kids don’t dance’ which was so bloody hipster Niall could gag.

“What do you want Zayn?” He snarled instead.

“Now is that anyway to greet a mate on the day of lurve?”

“Maybe not, but then we aren’t mates now are we?” Niall finished narrowing his eyes.

Zayn shrugged the perfect picture of nonchalant. “Suppose not, so what brings you to the Candy Kingdom?”

Niall bit his lip. “Just paying Gum— _Liam_ a visit is all, what business is it of yers?”

Zayn shrugged a second time, looking every bit as unbothered as he sounded. “S’not, I don’t care really, just a bit nosy ain’t I.”

“Well now you know, so how about you beat it? Go cause some mayhem so I have an excuse to knock ya around yeah?” At this Zayn snorts, his signature smirk slowly unfurling on his admittedly attractive face.

“Like you _could_ …visiting his majesty are ya, and what’s this then?” He asked, not waiting for a response before he snatched the heart shaped box from under Niall’s arm.

“Hey! Give me that…” Niall growled jumping up to try and steal it back but the older boy floated just out of the blonde’s reach, examining the box in question before chuckling loudly.

“Are you—wait are you going to ask Gumball to be your Valentine?” Niall refused to answer instead he crossed his arms over his chest, lips pursed with anger.

 Zayn’s eyes widened. “You are! Oh god this is rich! Little Nialler the human’s got a bloody crush.”

“I do not.”

“Yeah? Then why’re you blushing?” Niall sniffed angrily

“I’m Irish what’s yer excuse for being a knob?”

“Don’t need one” The older boy tilted his head curiously, examining Niall’s defensive demeanor “seriously though are these for Liam?”

“Yes alright? Are you happy? What’s it to you anyway?”

Zayn freezes, midair but Niall keeps on walking and Zayn lets him because the thing is he’s sort had this crush type thing on the prince for a couple years now, stemming from the fact that Liam was a bit of a bore and Zayn has always derived great pleasure in rattling him, getting a rise, and being an all around thorn in the prince’s side. Of course it hasn’t escaped his notice that Liam was bloody well fit, when he wasn’t in his lab doing all that boring science donk, he was taking advantage of the castle’s fully equipped gym, he’s particularly fond of his row machine—not that Zayn would know that.

And it’s not like he ever planned on telling Gumball how he felt about him, that would be a monumental mistake because the two of them would never work—they barely worked as friends most days but there was something about the thought of Liam dating someone else, someone good and brave and true like Niall, the kind of person that Zayn could never even _hope_ to compete with being the son of a literal demon and the vampire king of the [Nightosphere](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Nightosphere_\(location\)). He was born evil and blokes like Liam and Niall were anything but.

He may not be good enough for Liam but he’d be damned if he was just going to hang around and watch Niall sweep the prince off his feet with his stupid chocolates and fancy clothes.

Shaking from his daze he quickly soared after the blonde.

“It’s no lump off my rump but you do realize he’s the prince of the _Candy_ Kingdom right? And your master plan is to bring him a box of…wait for it… _candy_? Bloody amateur.” Niall at least had the decency to blush as he mentally cursed Harry and his brilliant (see: rubbish) idea and snatched the candy out of Zayn’s loose grasp and tossed it into a nearby rubbish bin as he passed it.

“Glob! What do I do now?” He pondered aloud.

“What you didn’t have a plan B?” Niall thought about the poem burning a hole in his pocket then remembered Louis' reaction to it and decided it would be better not to share it with the vampire prince.

“Nope, chocolates were pretty much the extent of my romancing skills.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Oh yeah like you’re any better?” Niall sneered, along with a doubtful eyebrow.

To this Zayn raised his chin. “I’ll have you know I’ve woo’d many a lad and lass in my 1,003 years of unlife.”

“That right? Well, what would you recommend then Grandpa?” Zayn ignores the slight and doesn’t even try to hide his smirk because the blonde was playing right into his hand and he didn’t even know it.

“I’ve got a _few_ ideas actually…” He trailed off, turning Niall back in the opposite direction of the castle.

Operation _sabotage Niall’s plans to ask Liam out_ was officially a go.

**~~~**

When he’d first spied Niall enter the Candy Kingdom, taking in his determined stride and handful of something red, his curiosity had gotten the best of him. At most he’d figured the boy was on some kind of important quest (because there was always an important quest) and figured he’d go mess with him, delaying him from accomplishing his goal and helping out his evil brethren or whatever, he was bored, nothing fun ever happened around this time of year.

Never could he have ever imagined what was actually on the blonde’s agenda.

 _Asking Gumball to be his Valentine_ Zayn chuckles under his breath and reaches a hand out to put on Niall’s shoulder halting him, now that they’ve put quite a bit of distance between them and Gumball’s castle.

“Ok the first idea I had was...well Gumball he’s not like other princes is he? He’s all good and kind and actually cares about his subjects go figure so I thought what if you traveled to the [forest of trees](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Forest_of_Trees) where you’d have to find that [Cyclops](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Forest_Cyclops) they say lives there…his tears are supposed to have magical healing powers and Gumball would probably love it if you brought a vile of them back, so he could do his tinkering thing and reproduce their healing properties for everyone in the Candy Kingdom and boom! No more ouchies for all.”

“That doesn’t sound too impossible, but like everyone knows that dudes got like a heart of stone it’d be too much work trying to get ‘im to cry.”

“Did you say something mate.” Zayn said making a show of admiring his nails before flicking his eyes to the blonde “because all I heard were the clucks of a big chicken!” He taunted with a pointy grin.

Niall’s blood began to boil without his permission, because there was nothing he hated more than being called a coward.

“I am _not_ chicken I just rather not waste half the day traveling to the forest of trees then spend another couple hours trying to make the Cyclops cry.”

“What’s that drumstick? You too scared to face the big bad Cyclops?” Zayn continued the corners of his mouth turned down in a mock pout and speaking in a baby voice.

“Lump that, I’ll show you chicken…lead the way blood breath!”

~~~

It takes them nearly two hours to walk to the forest of trees, well Niall walked Zayn floated alongside him as usual and Niall’s pretty beat and annoyed that this trip has taken him quite out of the way of the castle, but he figures it’ll be worth it when he sees the look on Liam’s face as he hands over the vile of Cyclops tears. The prince would probably be so grateful for the gift that Niall wouldn’t even have to ask him to be his Valentine; Liam would just grab him and kiss him—for real this time, on the lips and everything in gratitude.

The are the thoughts he amused himself with for most of the walk to the forest, Zayn who currently floated on his back with his hands behind his head humming to himself, was absolutely no help at all as far as entertaining Niall—the absolute worst traveling companion. The thing is the two of them never really got a long at the best of times, so there really wasn’t any way they were going to have a casual chat to pass the time.

He was good, Zayn was bad what could they possibly have to talk about?

“Here we are.” Zayn announces in relief as they approach [a stump](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Tree_Stump_With_Sign) in the middle of a forked road with a post above it that had an arrow pointed in both directions but no explanation of where each path led.

He’d nearly died of boredom keeping pace with Niall and his puny human legs, he could’ve had them there in less than half the time if he’d flown them both there but that also would’ve defeated the purpose of stalling Niall with useless tasks far far away from the castle to kill the day away and keep him and the prince apart.

“Hey, what were you even doing in the Candy Kingdom today anyway?” Niall asked suddenly, momentarily startling the older boy.

“Huh? Oh its Valentine’s Day bro, the reddest day of the year? It’s basically an all you can eat buffet for my kind.”

“Oh.” _That makes sense_ ; Niall thought and moved to join Zayn at the stump, looking for some kind of indication where these paths led to when suddenly the stump cleared its throat.

“Hi there travelers! You only have two choices I’m afraid, they both lead to what you seek, which I assume is the tears of the Cyclops.” The stump waits for their nods before continuing:

“Very well the path on the left will cause all your hair to fall out and it will never grow back again while the path on the right which has affectionately been deemed the ‘smelly path’ because if you take it you will smell awful for the rest of your natural life. Choose wisely my friends.”

“Does either of those apply to vampires?

“As in non living? Nopsky-brosky.”The stump assures him.

“Sweet.” Zayn pumped his fist before turning to the human “so which will it be Niall?”

“Are you kidding me? I’m not going down either path, either find a third option or I’m going back to the Candy Kingdom to just wing it without the bloody chocolates.” The vampire curled his lip in annoyance.

“Alright fine! Moving on to my next idea then…”

“Seriously? We just wasted two bloody hours getting here for nothing?”

“Looks like it, but how was I supposed to know you’d wimp out just because you might lose yer hair or smell a little bit?”

“Easy for _you_ to say Mr. undead guy!”

“Fair enough, ok so for my next idea we’ll need to pay the [Choose Goose's](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Choose_Goose) magical stand a visit in order to ask him for the [Glasses of Nerdicon](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Glasses_of_Nerdicon) which will give you the smarts to hold an intellectual conversation with Liam, you can talk about science and robotics and his freaky fear of spoons…you know all that boring rubbish Gumball’s into.

“Hey! I’m plenty intellectual on me own thank you!”

“Oh yeah? Do you even know the difference between a neutron and a proton?”

“Sure I do one’s positive and the other is negative.”

“Which is which?”

“Uh…”

“Its fine bruh, I don’t care about that junk either but Liam lives for it, it gets him all hot and bothered I bet he seems like the type to pop a boner while performing an experiment.”

“Hey!” Niall cried out again in warning, not liking hearing Zayn speak that way about the prince “Isn’t Choose Gooses’ stand like half an hour from here?” Zayn shrugged it was actually about an hour and a half but he wasn’t about to tell Niall that.

“Yep, it’s up to you, if you want to win the heart of the Prince a half hour walk is just a small price to pay, but if you want to be alone yet again on Valentine’s Day then please take a seat maybe Gentle Lou will swing by and pick you up to take you home.” Zayn finished making a show of sitting down on the stump, completely ignoring her complaints to ‘get off’.

“Get yer arse up Malik I’ve a fit fuchsia colored prince to romance and time waits for no one!”

“Fuchsia, really? I think he’s more magenta myself…”

“What’s it matter let’s just go already!” He growled, storming ahead in the right direction.

~~~

Thirty minutes later Niall was quickly realizing that he might’ve miscalculated how long of a walk he was in for, he was thirsty as hell, his once red Supras were now muddy and gross and worst of all his traveling companion was complete rubbish at conversation.

“What’s that yer humming there?” He asked, he knew he was pretty much grasping at straws at this point but he was nearly out of his mind with boredom and desperate.

Again Zayn seemed to startle a bit before throwing the blonde a glance. “Huh? Oh it’s nothing you’d know.”

“How d’ya know what I do and do not know…try me my music tastes are pretty broad.” Niall challenged with a crooked smile that made Zayn chuckle, surprising them both.

“I don’t doubt it, but you haven’t heard this before, trust me” The older boy said matter-of-factly with a small smile of his own.

“Why’re you so sure?”

“Because I wrote it ok?” Zayn finally confessed, studying a rip in the knee of his jeans “And I’ve yet to share it with anyone else.”

“Wait you write music?”

“Yeah…live for 1,003 years and you get pretty bored, but music has always been there throughout the years, it’s what keeps me sane.”

“Huh, that makes sense, but it doesn’t explain why you’re still pretty crazy.”

“Hardy har har har.”

“You think you could I don’t know play it for me? Might help me get through the rest of this walk we’ve still got to go.”

“I dunno, my music’s pretty personal.” He said, toying with the fraying edges of his knee hole in an effort to avoid making eye contact, his music _was_ personal, sharing it with Niall or anyone for that matter would be giving them the perfect view into the window of his soul and he just doesn’t think he’s ready to be that open with another person, to trust someone like that.

“Right right I get that never mind.” Niall said, looking down at the pebble he’s been kicking for the better part of a mile, not bothering to mask his disappointment.

Zayn watched him for a few beats before sighing. He doesn’t know what makes him do it, but before he can think on it he finds himself snapping his fingers making his [ax bass](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Ax_bass) appear out of thin air. Without a word he throws the leather strap around his neck and begins strumming idly, making Niall’s head shoot up in surprise.

Zayn still refuses to meet his eyes but he speaks softly as he plucks out seemingly random cords, just warming up his fingers.

“The one I was humming, it’s not finished yet…I’ve only got the chorus sussed out, but I’ll play it anyway yeah?” Niall nodded eagerly and slowed his pace just slightly so that he could watch Zayn play without worrying about tripping over something and landing face first in the dirt.

_“We're only getting older, baby_

_And I been thinking about it lately_

_Does it ever drive you crazy_

_Just how fast the night changes?_

_Everything that you've ever dreamed of_

_Disappearing when you wake up_

_But there's nothing to be afraid of_

_Even when the night changes_

_It will never change me and you...”_

Zayn held the end note for as long as he could before letting it taper off and set his guitar down in his lap, shyly awaiting Niall’s thoughts. He didn’t have to wait long before Niall is clapping loudly, even throwing a few wolf whistles in for good measure making the older boy preen.

“Shmowzow that was flippin’ good Zayn, I’ll admit I was ready to take the piss outta ya for being a Justin Bieber type but you’re legit good those lyrics and my god yer voice.”

Zayn narrowed his eyes in outrage though, the way the corner of his eyes twitched wanting to stretch out in a smile let Niall know he wasn’t too angry.

“Please, don’t insult me; I’m more Chris Brown yeah? But you uh really thought it was good?” Niall rolled his eyes not usually one to stroke someone’s ego—especially not someone like Zayn who already possessed an inflated one, but the truth was Zayn was just that deserving of the praise, he was _that_ good, so he made an exception.

“Dude, it was mathematical!” Zayn couldn’t hide his grin this time if he wanted to, knowing that was the highest praise you could get coming from the blonde.

“I’ve got others, finished ones if you want to hear them that is?” The vampire asked from beneath his lashes, suddenly going timid.

“Hellz yeah I do, lay them tunes on me sweet music man!”

“Awesome sauce, this one’s called Clouds…”

~~~ 

Luck, it would seem was not on Niall’s side today because when they get to the Choose Gooses’ stand it’s only to find that they’re too late that the [Flame Prince](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Flame_Prince) had already been by to claim the glasses of nerdicon not a full ten minutes earlier.

“Flame Prince? What the hell does _he_ need with the Glasses of Nerdicon?” Niall wondered out loud.

“Probably the same thing you wanted them for, to impress someone with an abundance of newly acquired useless information.” Zayn offered breezily, the Choose Goose eagerly agreeing with him with a bobble of his head.

“It’s not actually useless though?” Niall felt the need to point out, because it wasn’t. The glasses made whoever wore them a literal genius, gave them not only random interesting topics to talk about but also gave him an instant recall of knowledge on any topic someone else could think to bring up, gave him the answers to any questions he might be asked, sure it also gave him odd facts—random data that one might even deem as ‘useless’ like how many cups of sugar it would take to get to the moon, like why on earth would anyone need to know that?

Zayn sucked his teeth in indifference. “It would be to me, if you came around me talking that geek gab, I’d probably hang you upside down by yer ankles, give you a purple nerple and send ya on yer way.”

“Christ Malik yer first class and don’t let anyone tell ya different.”

“Yeah yeah joke all you want but you know there’s some truth to that, I am quite the catch.” The darker boy boasted, blowing his knuckles before polishing them on his shoulder.

“More like what can _someone catch_ from datingyou.” Niall threw out snarkily. Zayn made a silly face, going so far as to stick his tongue out when a thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Hey whatever happened with you and the flame Prince anyway? Last I heard the two of you were pretty _hot_ and heavy there for a while.” Ignoring the awful pun Niall shrugged.

“Me and Ed decided we were better off as mates seeing as we couldn’t really do anything without the risk of me getting third degree burns on me unmentionables—which includes lips, I’m talking strictly PG couldn’t even snog the guy so get yer head out of the gutter Malik!” Zayn wiggled his eyebrows. “Not being able to be intimate took its toll on the relationship so we went our separate ways as friends, last time we spoke he told me he was chatting up this girl from his kingdom named Ellie something, can’t really remember but she seems nice enough.”

The vampire hummed in thought. “Huh, pity everyone thought the two of you were gonna make it, always sad when you lose yer first love yeah? Was he your only boyfriend then?”

“Yeah but it’s alright, we’re good now honest.” Niall assured him, surprised that the other boy even cared.

“Oh I believe it, it’s just well if he was yer first and you couldn’t actually _do_ anything together does that mean…Niall J Horan are you a virgin?” Niall’s cheeks instantly flame up and he can’t stop himself from glaring up at the other boy, he should’ve known better than to trust that Zayn was merely curious.

“What the funk man? I can’t believe you just asked me that, that’s private arsehole.” Zayn clucked his tongue.

“Spoken like a true card carrying member of the V squad!” The blonde wanted nothing more than to smack that smug look right off Zayn’s face and if he didn’t still need his help he would have done it too.

“Lump off! I am not discussing that with you. What is wrong with you?”

“Hello, son of a demon and the vampire king.” Zayn felt the need to remind the blonde, wiggling his fingers at him for emphasis “why do you keep forgetting that and then are surprised when I do something bad… _I’m evil!”_

Niall snorted as if he could ever really forget.

“Yeah alright, just tell me what we do now that the glasses of Nerdicon is a bust!” For a moment it looked like Zayn wasn’t going to let the subject drop and that Niall was going to have to use his retractable sword on his undead arse but then the older boy shrugged and clapped his hands before rubbing them together.

“Now we move on to Plan C which is sort of similar to your original plan of getting him chocolates, you had the right idea to get him something sweet but getting candy for the prince of the candy kingdom was pretty dirtballs even you have to admit. I thought instead we could swing by [Tree Trunks'](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Tree_Trunks_\(character\)) place and get her to teach ya how to make one of her famous apple pies.”

“Tree Trunks!?!? But she lives all the way on the other side of Ooo!” He couldn’t help but whine, because today was turning out to be one big wild goose chase.

“Yeah but it’ll be worth it, trust me. If someone got me an apple pie for Valentine’s Day hold the pie…just a nice juicy red delicious apple that I could suck all the red out of I’d pretty much drop trou right there and then for them.”

“Oi raunch man! Come on it’s not even like that with me, I proper fancy Liam, this isn’t about getting into his pants.”

“Fair enough but once you win his heart you win access in his pants anyway so might as well get the motor running with some pie yeah?”

“You literally make no sense and yet I’m the tosser who asked fer yer advice, know I’m going to regret this but let’s go.”

**~~~**

“Hiya Tree Trunks what’s the craic?” Niall greets the little elephant currently watering her petunias.

“Niall! My goodness it sure is nice to see you again, you haven’t been around to my neck of the woods in some time, not since the accident.” She hollered back, setting her watering can to the side.

“Huh what accident?” Zayn asked, genuinely confused.

“It was nothing big just got trampled by a stampede of wild boars last time I was around here, one little buggar ran right over me knee and it’s been a bit dodgy ever since but it’s all good nothing croosh-croosh.”

“That’s right, I’ve been meaning to send you a care basket filled with a couple of my scrumptious apple pies but I’ve just been so busy…can you ever forgive me?”

“Nothing to forgive me’lady, but I could use a favor.”

“Anything for you duck.”

“Well you see I was wondering if you could walk me through how to make one of yer pies? It’s for a friend, uh Prince Gumball. I wanted to make him something special for Valentine’s Day.” Tree trunks brought the end of her trunk up to her cheek in awe.

“How romantic! Why of course I’ll help you! Come on in fellas and grab an apron off the hook by the door. Pie making is messy business don’t ya know.” The boys enter the quaint little cottage and Niall immediately grabs for the blue apron with a smiling apple printed on it, leaving the pink one for Zayn who is much more hesitant.

“I think I’m going to pass on the apron, ta.”

“Why’s that? You afraid the pink will clash with that blonde streak in yer hair? Fine I’ll switch with you ya big baby.” Zayn rolled his eyes, flipping his wrist in Niall’s direction.

“Please I can make _any_ color work, I’m just not really the apron wearing type—I’ve a rep to protect.”

“Like anyone’s even going to see you.” The vampire prince shrugged, standing his ground so Niall rolled his eyes giving up as he finished tying his own apron around his waist before heading into the kitchen, Zayn hot on his heels.

“Nuh-uh handsome, no one enters my kitchen without an apron.” Tree Trunks tutted as she measured out the dry ingredients for the pie. Zayn groans but floats back over to the hook and snatches it down without protest. When he returns she offers him a warm smile of approval.

“Alright I’ve gone and took the liberty of measurin’ out all the dry goods for ya, the sugars, the salt, the cinnamon etc. Now normally I’d take you through making some homemade pie crust but that would take much too long if you’re hoping to have it done in time to gift it to his highness, so we’re gonna use some premade dough from the fridge.” She instructed gesturing to the two mounds of chilled dough sat on the counter.

“Now I’mma have you two roll out the dough, Niall you’ll be in charge of the actual crust while Zayn here takes care of the top. Here’s some all purpose flour to use to keep the dough from sticking to the counter and rolling pin, remember a little bit goes a long way we don’t want the dough to be all grainy so just sprinkle enough down to give ya some wiggle room. We also don’t want to roll the dough too thin so be mindful of that and try your best to keep the dough as circular as possible. I’m just going to go outback to pick some apples off my tree so holler if you need me. Otherwise I’ll just leave you two to it. Make me proud boys.”

 Niall went to work at once pinching out a few pinches of flour to dust the counter with before doing the same with the rolling pin. Zayn on the other hand just stood there staring at the rolling pin in his hand as if it were some alien weapon that would go off at even the slightest movement.

“So uh, you have any idea what you’re doin’ there?”

“Sure, Hazza and I bake all the time back at the tree fort.” Niall spoke flippantly, proceeding to knead the dough like a bloody professional “never made a pie before but that’s only because Harry doesn’t really like cooked fruit.”

“Oh…cool.”He said slowly watching as Niall began rolling the dough out as instructed, working from the middle outward and turning the dough every other roll.

“Do you need a hand there or something?” He finally asks, after feeling Zayn’s eyes boring into the side of his face for a few minutes too long.

“What? No! Of course not, I’m the vampire prince! I got this.” He insisted, waiting until Niall’s focus was back on the dough he was rolling before he followed the blonde’s example sprinkling flour on the counter and pin before unwrapping his own dough and sprinkling just a tiny bit of flour on that as well, watching from his peripheral he tried his best to emulate what Niall was doing and while his dough was definitely less uniform as Niall’s turned out he was damn proud of his own outcome, he was just finishing up, trying to fix a tiny crack like he’d seen Niall do when the blonde suddenly let out a little giggle and Zayn looked up to find blue eyes watching him carefully.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, you just, uh you’ve just got a little flour on your nose…it’s dare I say cute.”

“Oh yeah?” Zayn tested with a smile that was much too toothy to be trusted but Niall wasn’t quick enough in putting his guard up before a tuft of flour was suddenly being flicked at his face “now so have you, weird.” He cackled back, face the picture of innocence.

“You’re going to regret that!” Niall promised through gritted teeth, though he wasn’t really mad at all.

“Doubt it!” Was all Zayn had time to get out before Niall sent some flour right at him, but he of course saw it coming and floated out of the way just in time to avoid getting any dirtier. The same could not be said for Niall when Zayn sent yet another zing of flour his way, this bit landing on his cheek.

It continued on that way until Niall was nearly completely covered in flour while Zayn miraculously remained completely clean, the two of them giggling like a pair of school kids on the play ground. It was while laughing, hovering at eye level with the blonde that Niall finally got him back, landing a pea sized dollop in the older boy’s hair.

“Oh hell naw, you did not just get some of that shite in my hair, game over Horan it’s all good and fun until you mess with the dome piece.”

“Give it a rest diva, I promise I wasn’t aiming for your hair!”

“Uh huh, say I believed you, I’d still have to get you back s’the rules.”

“Pfft do your worst.” Niall challenged, even going so far as to puff out his chest. Zayn smirked and without warning lunged at Niall, tackling him to the flour where they rolled around a bit, mostly laughing and pretending to be cross until Zayn finally pinned the blonde, triumphantly grinning down at him from where he straddled his thighs.

“Looks like I win.” Zayn teases and he doesn’t mean for his voice to come out so low and guttural but it does and that’s when he realizes their faces are mere inches apart and god has Niall’s eyes always been that blue? He can practically see his own reflection staring back at him, Niall licks his lips and of course Zayn’s eyes track the movement, studying Niall’s mouth, namely how supple it looks, the upper lip a little on the thin side but the bottom one more than full enough for him to pull between his teeth and…Zayn jerks his head up and away, but doesn’t move to stand wondering where the hell those thoughts had come from but before he can work himself into a proper panic the back door slams open as Tree Trunks ambles inside.

“Heaven’s me what’s going on in here?” She cries out in horror as she enters the kitchen, basket of apples falling from her grip as she took in the state of the room.

The boys spring apart instantly looking guilty about more than just the mess they’d made.

“Uh, we might’ve had a little accident?” Niall offered once he found his voice again.

“A _little_ accident? Look at this mess, look at your clothes!”

“Eh, it’s nothing.” He assured her, brushing ineffectually at a patch of flour on his shoulder.

“I ought to swat you both in the buns and send you on your way for this, on account that I’ll probably be cleaning well into next week…but it’s just not in my nature to do such a thing so I won’t; besides it’s all in the name of love.” She lectured them, coming around the kitchen island to appraise their handiwork.

“I’ll tell you what though despite all this chaos your crusts came out beautiful, you boys did a great job, now that we got those out of the way it’s time to peel, core and slice these bad boys.” She said, nodding to the fallen basket which Niall moved to grab for her and put it up on the counter.

“Now the only problem is that I’ve just got the two peelers so someone’s going to have to sit this one out.” Zayn’s hand immediately flew up.

“Great, I could go for a smoke break anyway.” Tree Trunks and Niall both frowned their disapproval but he just continued on towards the back door undeterred, already patting his pockets for his pack of smokes.

~~~

Zayn doesn’t know how long he’s been out there, long enough to have smoked his way through two cigarettes thinking about everything that’s happened today—namely how drastically things seemed to have changed between him and Niall.

For the past three years the blonde has been nothing but a pain in his arse, the human and his irritatingly cheerful pussycat sidekick Harry going around playing super heroes and saving the day left and right with no real motive aside from simply wanting to make the Land of Ooo a better place and it was so bloody annoying.

The thing is he shouldn’t even care really it’s not like he even lived here, he only came around for entertainment’s sake, because it got boring living around the death and constant darkness of the Nightosphere, so he moved around a lot. Live to be as old as he is and you’ll find that every now and then you’ll get struck with the _‘hit the road blues’_ and start itching to up and go somewhere else, _anywhere else_. So was the case a couple of years back.

He’d packed a few necessities and set off to see the world and when he came back he found this funny looking blonde kid and his flamboyant kitten had moved into his Tree fort without even asking. He was right ticked off about it and threatened to skin both of them alive for encroaching on his space but then that bloody gum wad Liam of all people had come out of nowhere to save the day and banished him back to the Nightosphere, he didn’t _have_ to go, he could’ve stayed and fought Gumball over it. But in the end he’d been too tired from traveling and had decided he didn’t even want to live in the Tree fort for another ten years anyway and instead sought out another place to call home.

And ok sure there was the whole good versus evil thing, that was a given but it was different then it was with Gumball their rivalry was deep rooted and went back for ages, being the heir to the thrones of kingdoms that were polar opposites it was only natural that they bicker at every turn, never quite seeing eye to eye. But with Niall it was a bit unnatural, felt _forced_ even at times because Niall was a surprise it wasn’t foresaw that a human boy would come along to thwart his every evil deed or act of mischief like it was with Gumball.

His father never warned him there’d be a Niall, never saw _him_ coming.

And he’d definitely never intended to fall for him—not that that’s what is happening here, having a tiny infatuation with the candy prince was one thing but there was no way he felt anything but contempt and mild fondness for the human boy. So what if he had eyes you could get lost in or a smile that could light up an entire city? So what if his irritatingly cheeriness was pretty contagious and he looked adorable when his nose wrinkled up in confusion or his cheeks turned a delicious red whenever he was embarrassed…none of these explained the sudden flip in his belly whenever their eyes met or they accidentally brushed one another. What was that even about?

“Heads up Malik.” Niall said, coming out of nowhere and making Zayn jump and nearly miss whatever it was being thrown his way which turned out to be a perfect red apple. “Sweet talked Tree Trunks into letting me have one of the ones leftover, she just put the pie into her special pie baking oven as we speak, so it shouldn’t be too long before it’s done.” Zayn looked back and forth between the blonde and the fruit and swallowed hard.

“You gonna drop trou now or later then?” Niall asked cheekily, with a raised eyebrow that had Zayn’s eyes bugging out in surprise.

“What do you…you mean you actually want me to…?” He sputtered out but was saved from further embarrassment by Niall’s loud cackles.

“Oh god should’ve seen yer face! As if I’d ever want to see that.” Niall scoffed one last time and even wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.

Zayn scowled. “Guess we’d better go in and check on that pie should be cool enough to take to Gumball by now.”

“There you two are…the pies all done and it’s a real beaut if I do say so myself, you two make a good team.” Both boys grumbled their disagreement and walked further into the room.

“Is it cool enough to hold?”

“Sure, it’s all yours lovey.”

“Thanks a bunch Tree Trunks, I owe you.” The little yellow elephant shooed him away with her trunk.

“You owe me no such thing; it was my pleasure…now you make your way to the castle and woo the cotton candy colored pants off of Liam!

“Cotton candy really? For glob sakes he’s bloody magenta.” Zayn growled; face twisting up in exasperation as he stomped out the front door.

“Tou-chy, better go after him then.” Niall bent down to give her a grateful hug before taking the pie and rushing out after the sullen teen. When he catches up its just in time to watch the vampire suck the red from the apple before tossing the now shriveled gray fruit into a nearby bush.

“Guess we’d better head back to the castle then? The days nearly done…” Zayn mumbled bitterly as he floated in the direction of the Candy Kingdom.

Niall didn’t move to follow. “Well I mean, you technically don’t have to come with…I appreciate all your help and all the trouble we’ve gone through together it’s been quite the unexpected ride but I think I can manage on my own from here.” The older boy froze in midair, not even bothering to turn around.

“Oh right, uh cool, would’ve taken me out of the way anyway.” Niall nodded even though the other boy couldn’t see the gesture.

“Right so I guess this is goodbye then.”

“Yep, good luck or whatever.” Zayn’s head jerked once, shoulders stiff.

“Th-thanks.” The blonde stuttered out, his mouth feeling dry and full of cotton as he tried to swallow down this weird and unexpected feeling of regret and walked on, passing the still motionless boy and literally having to fight not to sneak a side glance at him.

He’d only taken about five steps when Zayn suddenly called out to him.

“Niall wait,” The blonde whirled around so fast his sneakers kicked up a small cloud of dust at his feet that he paid no mind to, too focused on the vampire’s golden eyes.

“Yeah?”

“I uh just remembered that an apple pie is probably the worst gift to give Gumball.” Niall’s forehead furrowed.

“What do you mean? You said…” Zayn clapped his hands gleefully as he nodded, causing the blonde to frown further because what the hell did he have to be so happy about? If Zayn was right then that would mean they just wasted yet another three hours.

“I know I did, but I was wrong. You know how obsessed Liam is with fitness and watching his figure, he’ll take one look at this pie and sure he’ll smile and thank you to your face but the minute you leave he’s just going to trash it or pawn it off on Peppernick butler.”

“Crap you’re right, that means we just wasted almost an entire day.” Niall sighed, his whole body deflating as he sank down to sit on the ground in defeat “and for what? Nothing I still haven’t got a gift worthy of the prince and I’m bloody tired, thirsty and near starving.” As if on cue his tummy began to grumble.

“Look I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, you can’t give up Niall…it’s not in your nature, right infuriating trait if you ask me.” He muttered the last bit under his breath.

Without warning Niall was up on his feet narrowing his eyes at Zayn and snapping his fingers impatiently at him.

“What’re yer ideas let’s hear them all now. This way we can weed out the obvious failures without gallivanting all over Ooo. “

“Um, you could give him BMO?” Zayn squeaked, caught off guard by Niall’s closeness, steely blue eyes just inches from his own. The blonde’s nose wrinkled.

“What? No! He’s not something I can just give away, he’s family.”

“Right, moving on then…I could possess your body, seduce Liam _for_ you using my natural charm and power of seduction and let you reap all the rewards?”

“You can do that?”

“Duh…I’m not _going_ to, I’m not _that_ nice. But I could yes _._ ” Niall huffed out a breath of annoyance.

“Seriously why help me at all then?”

“Maybe I’m not.” Zayn said cryptically, pulling at a loose thread from his t-shirt.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” A shrug of the shoulders was all the answer Niall would get.

“You could write him a song?” Niall started to shoot that idea down as well until what Zayn had actually said reached his brain.

“Uh yeah that could actually work but um, I can’t do anything until I get some food in me. 

“Fine just eat the bloody pie then.”

“No, its all sugar and carbs, I need more than that…” Zayn crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well what do you suggest?” Niall’s stomach let out another inhuman gurgle and the blonde tried to breathe through it as he thought 

“We’re not too far from Gentle Lou’s house, maybe we can stop there to rest and I can eat and use the loo and stuff.”

“Christ on a candy cane, you humans and your bothersome bodily functions and needs…let’s get this over with yeah?”

It takes them about five minutes to reach Louis’ house, Zayn hovering a few steps ahead and not saying a word and normally Niall would relish the quiet since the older lad tended to go off on a narcissistic rant that Niall would just end up tuning out anyway but after the day they’ve had, bonding and getting to know one another it was weird to see Zayn close himself off from him like this.

He just wished he knew what he’d done.

~~~

When Niall knocks on the door he anticipates being met by an annoyed Louis at most, what he doesn’t expect is for Harry to answer the door in a full maids outfit complete with feather duster but then again he really shouldn’t be all that surprised either, it was Valentine’s day after all.

“Niall? What’re you doing here; did things not go well with Gumball? What’s that all over your clothes?”

“What?” Niall asked distracted, more than a little surprised by how _good_ Harry looks in a dress, and then shakes his head embarrassed by the thought, his face going red to the tips of his ears. “No, I uh haven’t asked him yet? We were in the neighborhood and thought we’d pop in for a drink and a snack and as for my clothes we uh made a pie, if you’d care for a slice?”

“We? Whose we?” No sooner had the words left his mouth did Zayn’s head pop from around the corner and Harry’s eyes widen in surprise, and without thinking he immediately drops into a defensive stance wielding the feather duster in front of him like he would a sword.

“Hey there Haz, nice stems.” Zayn says completely unfazed by the threat of death by dusting as he eyes Harry’s fishnet covered legs. Harry is again caught off guard and ends up preening, turning this way and that, to show off his glorious legs.

“Ha-rry! Who the bloody hell is it?” Comes Lounicorn’s voice from somewhere in the house and not  a second later does he come breezing up behind Harry dressed in a red silk robe, a pretentious fake mustache stuck to his upper lip and an unlit pipe dangling out the corner of his mouth.

God their role plays were weird.

“Oh it’s you and YOU? What’re you doing here Malik and with Niall? Are you two even friends?”

“No!” They shout in unison, avoiding eye contact.

“O-k, whatever save that dramabomb for yo mama dawg…why’re you here disturbing us?” Lou asked, using Harry’s head as an armrest.

“I got hungry?” Niall answered simply with a sheepish grin.

“For glob sakes what else is new, go find a taco truck or something!”

“Lou!” Harry chastised, to Niall he said: “Come on in babe, I’m sure we’ve got a few kebabs left over from the other night I stayed here, uh you too Zayn.” He added, still with a bit of hesitance as he waved the pair inside.

~~~

“So we’ve basically been traveling all over the land of Ooo trying to find the perfect v-day gift for Gumball because let’s face it Haz, your idea of giving him chocolates was straight up dirtballs!” The pussycat drew back as if struck, his face falling in offense.

“Heyyy, I didn’t see you coming up with anything better!” He reminded, reaching forward to pinch Niall’s nipple making the boy yelp and drop his kebab. “And what about you Casanova what other plans have you got? Where are you headed when you leave here?” Everyone turned to Zayn.

“Hmm I was thinking I could take you back to the Nightosphere and we could wrestle a mama wolf into giving up one of her pups and then we could give it to Gumball to raise as his own, teach it to be all kind and gentle and shit which’ll suck but also could start a new race of wolf…” He trailed off once he realized he was losing them and quickly changed tactics.

“Or lemme see…I know! We could go to this party being thrown in [Lumpy Space](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Lumpy_Space) by [Lumpy Space Prince](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Lumpy_Space_Prince) and like steal a few of his mustache hairs when he’s not looking? You know how tetchy he is about his ‘stache it’ll be a real hoot!” He said villainously rubbing his hands together excitedly at just the though

“I’ve got it! We could…” Zayn started but Harry held a hand up to stop him.

“Hate to cut you off there Zayn but none of those ideas sound like something _Liam_ would be into? Or that he would really benefit from like he doesn’t really have the time to raise a baby wolf to be kind and not vicious what with his Princely duties and what exactly is he going to do with a few of LSP’s lip whiskers? “

Louis hummed in thought.

“If you ask me, all those ideas sound more like things _you_ would be into, things you’d like to do… _but with Niall?”_

“Oh.” Harry says eyes wide as he pieces everything together and Zayn flies up and out of his chair before the kitten can say anything more, knocking it over in his haste, his eyes wildly moving around the room like a caged animal looking for a quick escape.

“Lump this, if you think you have better ideas then feel free to help him because I’m officially done.” He sneers throwing his hands up, he floats over to the door muttering a quick ‘Bumps ya’ll’ and leaves without looking back.

~~~

Harry released a huge breath of air.

“Well that was..."

“Eye-opening?” Louis offered.

“Weird as hell?” Niall threw in, tugging at his blonde hair in frustration.

Harry shook his head and settled for “…unexpected.”

“So what’re you gonna do now?” Louis asked, focusing his attention on Niall.

“Don’t really know.” Niall admitted turning to gaze out the window “the suns just about set and I’ve literally wasted the entire day running around on a wild goose chance with Zayn.”

Louis makes a dubious sound. “Yeah about that, what made you trust him in the first place, you do realize he’s the _enemy_ right?”

“I’m with Gentle Lou on this one babe; anyone could’ve guessed he wasn’t helping you out of the goodness of his heart but probably to sabotage you…” Harry pointed out using his soothing mother hen tone that just further annoyed Niall to be honest.

“Is he though?” He blurted out suddenly, a question that’s been eating at him for the latter part of the day.

“Is he what?”

“The enemy? I mean tree trolls, baby eating giants and swamp monsters those are the enemies clearly but Zayn he’s a bit of a gray area isn’t he? Mostly harmless, but likes to think he’s all big and bad because he’s got those fangs and a few cool vampire abilities but what harm has he really ever done anyone? 

Harry and Louis share a look, really seeming to think about it, putting their heads together and making humming noises in thought. Finally Louis snapped his fingers and shouted _‘I got it’_  

“There was that one time he…wait no that turned out pretty hilarious, nevermind.” Harry shot his lover a disappointed look and took his turn 

“How about when he, uh…huh actually that was [his father](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Hunson_Abadeer) not him.” Louis snapped his fingers a second time.

“I’ve got it what about the time he sucked all the red out of all the red checker pieces in all of Ooo.” He finished leaning back in his chair with a self satisfied smirk. Niall could only laugh 

“Wow Lou, you’re  really reaching with that one…but that wasn’t a real state of emergency it didn’t send the citizens of Ooo into a panic or anything, just confused a few of the elderly.” Niall pointed out as he stood from his chair 

“He’s more annoying than anything else, the way he floats around like he’s king of the world and that everything he does in infinitely cool just because _he_ did it—and that leather jacket, glob it doesn’t even make him look tough, just like he tries too hard and his chilled devil-may-care demeanor is more infuriating then inspiring like seriously would it kill him to tie his bloody trainers?” He’d begun pacing as he ticked off each irritation, voice rising with every one until finally Louis spoke up, eyebrows hidden under his fringe they’d rose so high.

“Uh Niall?”

“What?” The blond shouted, whirling around to face him, blue eyes dancing with emotion.

“Do you have something you want to tell us?”

“Huh? Bout what?” Louis cleared his throat.

“About your crush on Zayn Malik.”

Niall’s jaw literally hit the floor.

“Crazy flying rainbow horse say what?”

“You’ve got a crush on Zayn and from the sound of it; you’ve got it pretty bad too.” Niall scoffed.

“No, it’s _Gumball_ I’ve got the crush on Lou, do try and keep up.” Lou rolled his eyes.

“Oh I have no doubt you fancy the lovely Liam, but I think it’s more of a hero worship type deal there, always has been, you admire him for being good and kind and an honorable prince and sure he’s not bad on the eyes either, but I think somewhere in that bottle blonde brain of yours you’ve always known it was never going to go anywhere there. No offense—but Liam is never going to see you as more than the cute kid who saves the day every now and again.” Harry made a tisking noise at that, reaching out to gently swat Louis' shoulder.

“Lou, that’s terrible, you’re no longer allowed to talk.”

“But Haz…" 

“Nope, no talking.” He ordered, miming zipping his mouth closed for emphasis. Louis sighed but did what he was told, crossing his arms over his chest like a reprimanded child, which actually wasn’t too far off from the truth. Harry then turned to his best mate with soft sympathetic eyes.

“Look what Louis said it’s not all wrong, though he seriously needs to look up the word tact and then try it out sometime. You’re so lovely Nialler and Liam would be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend but maybe it’s good that you seem to fancy Zayn now, as odd as it sounds the two of you sort of make sense.”

Niall was absolutely fuming, his face red from his neck up to his temple, though from anger or embarrassment he wasn’t completely sure. Maybe both, a clean even split.

“Enough! I don’t fancy Zayn and he definitely doesn’t feel that way about me, I think it’s rubbish what you said about Liam never fancying me back and to prove it I’m going to follow through with my quest to ask him to be my Valentine using the poem I wrote this morning, it was meant to be my very last resort but desperate times and all…” He paused to let out a weary sigh “and if he ends up laughing in my face so be it at least I can hold me head up high knowing I had the bollocks to try and go after what I wanted.”

Harry let out a proud squeak, clapping his hands together at Niall’s impromptu speech.

“That’s the spirit babe and for what it’s worth I have faith in you.” Niall just shook his head, wishing he felt even half as confident as Harry looked.

“Right, well I’ll be off then, sorry for interrupting your um, evening plans.” Harry’s whiskers twitched in amusement.

“Eh don’t even sweat it, nothing ruined just delayed a bit. 

~~~

Who the bloody hell does Gentle Lou think he is? Messing with his head, by insinuating that there’s anything between—that he could ever truly fancy—they’d never work is the thing!

Even if he did have feelings for Niall, which he doesn’t, definitely not…ew. It would never work between them. He was the crowned prince of the Nightosphere, even if he didn’t really act like it, skiving off his royal duties and spending less and less time in his kingdom as the years wore on, but that still doesn’t negate from the fact that if something were to happen to his father he’d be expected to step up and stand in as ruler of the Nightosphere. It’s his prophecy, no escaping it, unless he refused the crown and let his much eviler and diabolical older sister Doniya have it, but that would for sure get him cast out of the Nightosphere never to return again.

Which might not sound like much of a punishment give how much he hated the place, but it was still his home, he couldn’t imagine never being able to see him family unless they came to visit him, and given how much his family hated _leaving_ the Nightosphere he just didn’t see it going over too well.

He certainly couldn’t give his family up for someone like _Niall_. Someone so inherently good and brave and bloody noble, always up for saving the world no matter how big or impossible the task, not only risking his life for friends but complete strangers even! Someone so warm and bright and open—always giving so much of himself, with a constant laugh or happy smile on reserve to hand out as needed.

However there was something about Niall that made him feel funny, a bit fluttery and light and uncomfortable in his own body, like it didn’t quite fit anymore—he’d outgrown it over night, he felt different changed. It was undeniable that he’d enjoyed his time with Niall, getting to know the blonde ne on one without the snark—ok without complete snark but actual banter and laughing and teasing exchanged between them, he really liked seeing Niall off the battlefield if you will.

Before today their every interaction had been a negative one Niall trying to kill his dad for attempting to take over the candy kingdom, Niall trying to destroy to Nightosphere when a few demons got loose only to wreak havoc on the land of Ooo, Niall stopping him from sucking all the red out of Lily Licorice and her four sisters. Damn do-gooder that he is was always foiling Zayn and his kind’s fun.

He didn’t even know what he was stressing about this was Niall, he couldn’t fancy Niall end of story. Besides he was annoying he way he laughed at just about everything or how fiercely loyal he was to Gumball and the citizens of Ooo and don’t even get hi started on that infuriatingly close bond he had with Harry, if the cat wasn’t so madly in love with Gentle Lounicorn Zayn would be so lumping jealous…

Jealous? Him? No way, definitely not—never! He just thought it was weird for two blokes who claim to be as tight as brothers for them to be twisting each other’s nipples, slapping arses and groping each other’s junk sporadically, was just _wrong_  is what it is. And alright o that he’d _ever_ admit this out loud but the kid was all kinds of adorable, there he said it. He was cute and he always smelled rather nice like fresh baked cookies and soda pop, it was maybe an odd combination but he liked it, and his laugh, Zayn is completely convinced the world would stop turning to just to watch him laugh the way he put his all into it, warming everything in close proximity of that lovely sound and…

“Bugger me.” He thinks in absolute horror. “I love Niall.”

He liked the bloody way the boy _smelled_ for glob sake, he was totally, utterly arse over tit crazy in love with Niall Horan the human and there was not a bloody thing he could do about it.

Normally when he fancied someone he’d impress them by scaring the elderly or making small children cry by telling them there was no Santa or that they were adopted. He’d fascinate them with the tales of his travel, making sure to describe in great detail all the trouble he’d gotten into and chaos he’d left in his wake.

None of which would work on Niall.

Not to mention the blonde fancied Liam, it was clear in the sheer amount of crap he willingly let Zayn put him through this afternoon all for the sake of true love, love that he had for the Prince. Even now Zayn didn’t doubt that Harry and Lou had come up with a plan, something that would actually work for Niall to sweep Gumball right off his pretty pink boots. The two of them were probably sucking face as he stood here mopily strumming _‘All by myself’_ on his ax bass.

~~~ 

Niall stared up at the massive doors of the castle and gulped, his poem clutched I one hand, no doubt growing soggy in his sweaty palm, it didn’t matter he’d read and reread the words written on the leaf of paper so many times on the journey over that he pretty much had them ingrained in his brain permanently. Sucking in a final gulp of air he raised his fist to knock then thought better of it and pressed the doorbell.

Peppernick Butler was there shortly staring blankly at him, his usually immaculate quiff drooping ever so slightly and that’s when Niall noticed the striped pajamas and frowned.

“Am I disturbing you? I could’ve sworn it was just half passed seven when I left Gentle Lou’s and the walk is only about twenty minutes.”

“Yeah well, we turn in rather early around here don’t we, what with having royal duties to attend to at sunrise and all, you know an entire kingdom to look over and whatnot.” Peppernick spat through a yawn.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll just go then I didn’t mean to…” Niall apologized in a small voice as being told off, turning to leave when a familiar voice spoke out to him.

“Niall?” Niall spun back around to find none other than the prince, looking soft and sleep rumpled in his batman jammies, hair sticking up in every direction.

“Prince Gumball.”

“Oh, enough of that I’ve told you many time to call me Liam, I’m just Liam to my mates.” The prince reminded with a sleepy smile that made something twist in Niall’s gut.

“Yes, I remember… _Liam_.” The prince grinned, turning to his butler.

“I think that’ll be all Nick, you may go back to your sleeping chambers thank you.” Nick frowned, mumbling something about putting a pot on for tea or maybe hot cocoa both of which the prince just shook his head at, reaching down to pet his oldest friend’s hair.

Niall watched fondly as Nick tried to pretend that he didn’t love it, leaning into the prince’s touch for a moment before letting out a rather large yawn and bidding the two of them goodnight before finally slinking off to his bed chambers.

“Do come in Niall, where are my manners keeping you out on the doorstep.”

“No, you’re fine, Liam please don’t fuss, not over me, please.”

“Very well, come sit with me.” Liam said, leading Niall to the castle’s main sitting rooms—there were at least three others Niall knew of but this was without a doubt his favorite because of the artwork—all classically panted drawings of junk food. The room is decorated for the holiday Niall notices taking in the pink and red streamers and the table piled with Valentine’s Day cards all addressed to gumball, from the various citizens of the kingdom.

“So what brings you to the candy castle at nearing eight at night?”

“Oh um, I just wanted to uh…”He stammers around the nervous lump in his throat

“Go on Niall, what’ve you got there?” Liam gestures to the paper that’ definitely seen better days crumpled in his fist.

Niall doesn’t look down. “Uh—a poem?” The prince’s face lights up.

“Is it? For me?”

Niall nodded.

“Oh joy, are you going to read it to me?”

Niall nodded again.

“Roses ar—ar—are red, vi—violets are bah—blue.”  He stuttered, his voice shaking something terrible. He was wrong before we he thought the poem was ingrained in his memory because at the moment he was blanking completely the words on the page, not only runny from his sweat but swimming thanks to his clouded vision, his nerves getting the better of him which was unheard of he was Niall Horan’s he’s literally looked the face of evil in the eye and laughed as he sliced it’s head off why then was he absolutely shitting the bed simply reading a bloody poem to his mate.

“Do you need a glass of water? You’re looking a bit peakish there Nialler.” Niall vigorously shook his head.

“No, I’m alright…let me start again yeah?” Liam motioned for him to go on with an encouraging smile, he was always so encouraging and great and nice god was he nice he’d never try to overtake Ooo or steal a cherry lollipop from a small child because he was feeling a bit puckish, not Like Zayn. Zayn has does some pretty horrible things—mere pranks in the grand scheme of things but it was the principle of the matter.

Zayn was bad, he did bad things and was wholly unapologetic for it so why then can’t Niall get through this bloody poem, why does he keep thinking about Zayn singing Night Changes to him, watching his thin, nimble fingers deftly picking at the strings of his bass. Why couldn’t stop imagining the older boy throwing his head back laughing a joke he’d made. Why was he, even now with Gumball his supposed crush right in front of him, patiently waiting for him to get his act together, picturing Zayn sitting on top of him their lips just inches away from touching?

Why did he want to kiss Zayn so badly?

“Ro—roses are red, vi—olets are blue…” Liam yawns long and loud, immediately covering his mouth after causing Niall to chuckle nervously. “Is it that bad, it’s puttin’ ya ta sleep?” Liam is quick to shake his head.

“No, not at all it’s lovely so far, really. It’s just way passed my bedtime and my date with Danielle wore me out good and proper.” He explained, with yet another yawn.

“Date? With Danielle—you mean the _[Ice Queen](http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Ice_Queen)?_ That Danielle???”

“Mmhm, all this time I thought she hated me but it turns out trying to destroy my castle and imprisoning the candy people was just her way of flirting!”

“Right…I think I’ll just be going then.”

“Um alright, but what about you (yawn) poem?”

“I can read it to you another time yeah?”

“Of course, I’ll see you tomorrow maybe? You’ll swing by…earlier.”

“Sure.” Niall says, not really hearing what Liam’s saying over the sudden ringing in his ears, he needs to get out of there, needs to not be in this room with Liam and his crushing embarrassment that the prince would choose the evil ice queen over him, god Lou was right all along he was pathetic. He gathers enough strength to rise from the sofa, turning towards the castle doors intent on showing himself out only Liam calling after him stops him in his tracks.

“Oh Niall wait, I almost forgot.” He says making his way over to the glass bowl sat next to the pile of Valentines, reaching inside it before returning to Niall’s side to drop something into his open palm. Looking down at his hand his breath catches at the sight of a single pink candy heart.

“I saved that one special for you…Happy Valentine’s day.” He murmurs and leans forward to plant a chaste kiss on the blonde’s ruddy cheek.

His faces begins to heat up as the older boy draws back patting him on the shoulder one last time before moving around him and heading upstairs back to bed. Slowly he turns the heart over to read the message printed there:

 UR A GR8 M8

He slowly lets his eyes shut and fights the urge to bash his head against the heavy iron doors, but instead he slips out the castle before sneaking away into the night.

~~~

 

Dejected and officially friend zoned Niall sulks home to his empty tree fort where he slips into bed with no one to vent to because Harry is no doubt at Lounicorns gettin’ it in. He’s not been lying there a full five minutes staring up at the ceiling when there’s a knock at the door. He goes to answer it and is surprised to find the battered box of chocolates that he'd originally planned to give to Liam, the very same box he’d tossed in the trash. He picks it up confused then he hears someone clear their throat and is shocked to find Zayn hovering in the doorway.

“Zayn? What’re you doing here?" He asks, eyes raking in the other boy’s appearance for the first time in the entire time he’s known Zayn he’s never see him not well groomed and perfectly put together but right now he looked like he’d gotten in the right with a rabid squirrel and lost. His hair was a mess, his shirt had a few unidentifiable stains on it and his shoes as always, were undone he once white laces now brown with mud. The older boy opens his mouth to speak but then gets a load of Niall’s attire and can’t help but snort.

"Are those footie pajamas?"Niall blushes.

“Yes, they keep me warm, gets drafty living in a tree house."

"Right, makes sense um…” Zayn nods, bringing a hand up to rake nervously through his hair, messing it up further.

“Zayn?” Niall says, urging the older boy on.

“Have I told you how delicious you looked today? He finally blurts “and I’m not just talking about the fact that you wore red…I just wanted to eat you up.”

“O-kay, think I’m just gonna…” Niall made to close the door but Zayn’s hand shot out to stop him.

“Na—not that you don’t look good normally in your usual blue…makes yer eyes pop and they’re nice—eyes.”

“Zayn what’re you doing?” The blonde asked tiredly, he’s confused and hungry and still smarting from Liam’ rejection ad given the weird thoughts and feelings he’s been having for the boy in front of him, this is probably the last thing he needs.

“I’m trying to tell you I like you!” Zayn hisses, eyes blazing but not from anger, it’s something new, something Niall’s never seen before, he’s intrigued.

“By telling me you wanted to eat me?”

 “Hey some people consider that dirty talk.” Zayn smirked but the way his hands shook belied his sudden burst of confidence “but yes, I mean no…no I’m just really nervous and I don’t _do_ nervous so I’m not really sure what I’m doing.”

“Stammering like an idiot on my front step.” Niall supplies helpfully, making Zayn chuckle loosening a bit.

“Well yeah.”

“Because you like me?” Zayn raised his arms up helplessly.

“Don’t ask me how this happened because I haven’t a clue, but I do I like you Niall I like that you’re cute and carefree and basically everything I’m not...”

“Me too.”

“…and I know you’ve got heart eyes for Gumball but if you just give me a chance I could…wait what?” Niall’s smile widened at the look on the vampire’s face.

“I like you too, everything about you I don’t understand it but I know I don’t want to fight it anymore, I just want…you.”

The words weren’t out his mouth but a second before Zayn moved forward cupping the blonde’s jaw before pressing his mouth to Niall’s, suckling on his bottom lip like he’s been dying to do all day making the younger boy moan into the kiss and press forward even more, arms coming up to link at the small of Zayn’s back.

Zayn grinned into the kiss, bravely tracing the seam of Niall’s lips with his tongue asking for entrance which the blonde promptly allowed, feeling tinkling going up and down his spine and spreading all over as  Zayn caresses gentle circles into his jaw with his thumb. It was unlike any kiss he’d ever experiences even the literal flames that had licked at him every time Ed and him had tried for a snog couldn’t compare. Niall felt like for once it was him who was floating.

It’s not long after that Niall regretfully pulls back, ignoring Zayn’s noise of protest and grabby hands to get the blonde back over to him. Niall just shakes his head, looking determined.

“I’m sorry but I’ve just got to ask…what’s with the unlaced chucks? Like why can’t you bloody be bothered to tie them? Don’t you could trip and hurt yourself or something and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I kind of fancy you unbroken, so just tell why, it’s irked me for so long now I’ve just got to know.”

Zayn titled his head shooting Niall the most endeared look the vampire has ever mustered and shakes his head laughing.

“Babe, I float or hover 99 % of the time, there’s no real point. Besides I’m not Haz know how to walk without tripping over my own feet.”

Niall’s nose wrinkled up adorably as he laughed, his cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment and he mentally facepalmed himself, of course Zayn wouldn’t need to tie his shoes glob he could be such an idiot sometimes. When he was done laughing he met Zayn’s soft hazel eyes, nearly glowing in the moonlight.

“It’s getting pretty late.”

“Yeah it is but, creature of the night here, think i'm alright.” He said again in a tone that Niall was quickly coming to know as his flirty tone.

“Right…but you were out with me all day, aren’t you tired?” Zayn shrugged.

“Eh I could sleep but my kind doesn’t need it as much as you pesky humans do.” Normally Niall would feel the need to respond with some kind of insult about that  being rich coming from a 'flying corpse’ but this time Zayn’s words don’t feel like a slight at all, it almost sounded like a term of endearment.

“So you wouldn’t want to come in then, maybe stay the night? Harry’s at Lou’s and sometimes it gets creepy in the tree fort when I’m all alone.” It was a weak excuse even to his own ears, who would believe Niall the champion of Ooo was afraid of a few random noises?

“Oh, well I guess I could come in, keep you company if you’d like.” Zayn it seemed was not above playing along so Niall tipped his head and happily moved to the side for the vampire to enter and closed the door behind him.

Quickly spinning to face Zayn once more, he fixed the older boy with a grin “I’m sure I’ve got a spare pair of footie pajamas you can borrow…” He teased playfully as he led them to his bedroom.

“That’s alright love; I’ve already got that sorted.” Niall couldn't help but snort, turning only his upper body to send Zayn a bemused look.

“What you just happened to bring pajamas with you?”

“ No.” Zayn said carefully, a smirk already on his lips as he anticipated the blonde’s reaction to his next words. “I sleep nude.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it was way confusing, leave a comment if you think i should make an adventure time slang/lingo translation key and add it somewhere or tell me if i'm overthinking things and acting crazy or tell me you liked the fic? That'd be nice to read :)
> 
> Title from: [Bad Little Boy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AATGCGy0sLc)


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